Auto-Fellatio and other Highway Mishaps
Which only leads me to another story from one of my many discarded incarnations. This was of course when people actually liked me, although even then I could scarcely imagine why. In any event it was long before the headlong slide into the intoxicating self-absorption that plagues me now. Back then I didn't simply tolerate other people, I actually enjoyed their presence. I was actually glad they were alive. What happened? If I had to narrow all those tortuous years to one thin strand of contempt, I suppose it would all stem to the moment when I stole the monkey. Well, truthfully, she wasn't a monkey, but an ape. But she liked when I called her 'monkey' because it made her feel submissive and somewhat less-than-ape, so that's what I called her, at least in our more private moments. Living together seemed a natural step, considering how tempestuous and indescribably passionate our stolen moments in the primate house had become. Of course I just had to liberate her from her cruel captors at that horrendous workcamp, The Bronx Zoo. Five shows a day, boy--they really had her working the pole, hamming it up for the tourists, marching around with her exposed behind for the tantilizing views of the masses. Shameful. So there I was, blowtorch and bull cutters in hand, freeing her and myself in the process. We did shack up for a while, and although she was somewhat amiss in her personal hygiene habits--okay, she shit in the sink--we were very happy while it lasted. Then one day I realized, you know, I was living with a monkey. Sorry, ape.Copyright 2006 max jukes and Brian Edward Hack. No reproduction or other use of this material without the expressed written permission of the author.
Labels: apes, Improbable Relationships, Monkeys, Primates one and all
posted by max jukes @ 7:26 PM
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